Memo-04-10-2010-5, originally uploaded by Memos From The Universe.

I managed to kill two copies of Florida Weekly, two copies of “O” and a copy of Real Simple on the Lanai this afternoon. I even fell asleep – rather, I fell into that dreamy state in between wakefulness and sleep. In the meantime, hand-chopped organic vegetables and a free-range chicken bubbled on the stove. What an awesome day!

I’ve mentioned I think that I had been associating the lanai with smoking and for two years I did not venture out there at all. It was all wasted space. I’ve come to believe more and more in myself as a non-smoker. I NEVER want to go back to it. It was too hard to quit and I’m done with it. Done with the stink and the shortness of breath and the expense and the running of my life.

I’ve also mentioned that I’m getting back to analog reading. I have spent too much time in front of the computer in the last several years, and I end up buying books and periodicals that I’ve no time to read. The problem is not so much the allure of the computer as it was the situation with the progressive lenses I got a couple of years back. I just could not get used to them for reading. There was one tiny sliver that was good for reading and if the planets were not in precise alignment, I struggled. So I stopped reading.

Now that I have reading glasses that are NOT progressives, I am rediscovering the joy of analog – just as I’ve rediscovered the joy of hanging on the lanai without needing an excuse like smoking to be out there.

So here we have two things that are enjoyable, that were once integral parts of my life – especially the reading! And I gave them both up because some aspect of them had become aversive. Time or specific action can erase an aversive situation (Dr. Youth, God rest his soul, would have said “… can extinguish the aversive stimuli”).

There are other things I’ve stopped doing because they became aversive. I stopped performing for a while back when I was recovering from cancer. Stopped corresponding with certain friends, stopped keeping up with them.

Stopped dating. Talk about aversive – relationships can be downright painful. Mostly, it starts great and then becomes painful. REALLY painful.

I wonder if there really IS a way to make that work again, like I can make the lanai work (smoking doesn’t matter any more, time erased the problem) and I can make analog reading work (I actually found a solution and fixed the problem).