Category Archives: Website Memo

410 Memos in 35 hours

Brute_Force_Attack_Notifications_IMG_7185I am the lucky recipient of 410 Memos during a 35 hour time period.

From August 9th at 11:01 PM until August 11th at 10:10 AM, this website was under a brute force attack by person or persons unknown. I was REALLY busy with multiple deadlines. I knew there was a solution that I could implement to help alleviate the pain that the server must be feeling, but I also knew that the firewall was doing its job, by thwarting and notifying.  So, I let it keep until this morning.

During the 35 hour period that my phone was pinging regularly with emails from the firewall, the subject of self-publishing came up more than once.  The most prominent occurrence was last night. I had “set phasers to stun” (silenced the phone) while in a business meeting. At the end of the meeting, several attendees were standing around talking about self-publishing, and the phone kept vibrating in my pocket at regular intervals.

I wonder what I’m supposed to be self-publishing?

The reluctant Memo

The reluctant MemoThis is the convergence of a series of Memos that have been popping up, which use my love of collecting as a metaphor for… something. I have been sitting on this one for a couple of days, because the ideas are jumbled in my head but the words would not flow. It’s got to do with hunting, having, hoarding, and home.

(Gawd, I love all that alliteration. It just about lock-steps with synchronicity of occurrences, underscoring the existence and validity of incoming Memos.)

I love shopping. I love finding shells and other oddities during beach combing expeditions. The hunting theme has come up more than once in the last 2 years or so.

Hunting’s more fun than having…

a-hunting we will go

Likewise, the symbolism of shells as homes has come up before – the ability to set one aside in preparation for some other sort of accommodation. A shell can also represent something that no longer serves, that no longer represents who you are now or who you are becoming. Like the hermit crab, you can outgrow your shell, your home, your very environment.

“Leaving thine outgrown shell…”

The having/hoarding/purging theme has come up, too. I’ve been collecting shells for years, and we’ve already discussed how I have too many of them.

A random act of shelling at Bunche Beach

I’ve also collected books, building a great library of classics and esoteric stuff and children’s literature. And let’s not forget the collections of Disney watches and Disney pins and other Disney stuff.

What I have figured out is that HAVING all this stuff weighs you down. You need a place to display or store it, you have to maintain it, and a lot of times you don’t even USE it – you just HAVE it. Seems like we spend an awful lot of what’s valuable to us – time, effort, money – on just HAVING stuff. And it holds us back. It enslaves us. In order to be free, we must liberate ourselves from what’s holding us back.

I am beginning to understand that the closet no longer wishes to serve as a repository for the past.

We shed the old, and in doing so, we free ourselves to advance to the next level.

In clearing the office, we reckoned, space would be made for new work to move in.

I discovered a while back that I am much more likely to receive Memos when I have been practicing meditation on an unbroken, routine basis. I repeated a previous 21 Day Challenge as a warm-up for the latest one, which launched just last Monday. By Thursday, the 15th, the Ides of March, I had received yet another sea shell memo, which advertises my blissful non-attachment to outcomes – see the photo attached, which provides the affirmation, “My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome”.

Now, you have to understand that this concept is pretty much laughable to a Type A achiever from the concrete canyons of New York’s financial district. In that world, it was far more valued to be goal-oriented; we snickered at those who were process-oriented, thinking they achieved nothing. But the fact is, NOTHING is learned at the goal. It’s all learned on the way TO the goal, during the progression TOWARD the goal. However, the Memo isn’t exclusively about the outcome aspect of the goal. It’s about HOW the goal is achieved. Don’t be attached to the HOW. Don’t be attached even to a particular process or progression methodology. Just let the Universe pick the best HOW, and then keep your eyes open and your ears tuned.

You know, I pray for income, and it arrives at my doorstep in the most unexpected ways, ways that I never even considered. I thought it would come as a job. Nope. It chooses mysterious means to deliver what I need, ways that were set in motion YEARS ago, by ME – and I never guessed that these things would bring abundance to my door precisely when I needed it.

So, what have we got here?

1) Don’t be attached to your “home” (or job or whatever); be ready to cast it aside the minute it no longer serves, the very second it’s no longer what you need.
2) Prepare! Go through the process of making room for the new.
3) Learn! Make sure you’re paying attention to anything you can learn during the process, along the way to “there”, wherever “there” is.
4) Make sure you understand that the Universe may have a very different idea of “there” than you have – so, don’t be attached to any particular vision or version of “there”. State your desire, and then let go of any notions you might have about delivery, because those notions are actually limitations, and they will hold you back.

As I continue to divest myself of “stuff” – gawd, I’ve got just TONS of it! – I will try to remember the above. I’m in the process. I need to just keep working the process, keep learning what it has to teach me. The goal will come to me, not the other way around.

Please, God.

Berry nice, but what does it mean?

Berry Nice
I was reading a travel forum and there it was, in someone’s profile. That’s my keyword, and that’s my DOB, and that’s where Disneyland Paris is located. I was there, once upon a time, for two very cold days back in February of 2003, over 10 years ago. You can read about it here, if you want to (warning, VERY long) –

DL Paris Getaway

And the avatar – looks like berries, doesn’t it? Haven’t a clue what they are. Would have a better shot at it if it was the whole plant.

No idea what this means. Maybe it’s Nahtamemo, but the inclusion of my birthday freaks me a little.

Can’t make this stuff up

Today’s activity is known as “Respecting My Finances”, such as they are – going through and actioning the pile of stuff that needs financial attention. There are bills to pay, and there are pleas for donations. In the middle of the pile, I found a letter from U.S. Airways, stating that my miles were about to expire, and did I want a magazine subscription as a reward? Well, no, I do not want Yet Another Magazine that stagnates in a pile, cluttering up this house that I’m trying to keep decluttered, but I’ll look up the website and see what the other options are.

Look what I found:

Miles, part 1

Oh, looky – we can donate the miles. OK, that’s better than Yet Another Thing in my house full of Things that I’ve been trying to purge.

Let’s click, and see what the options are…

Miles, part 2

Oh looky – a sea shell! Why, didn’t I write on my other blog just yesterday about wanting to give away those Things cluttering up my kitchen cabinet space, known as sea shells?

A random act of shelling at Bunche Beach | My Mobile Adventures *~*~*

Synchronicity, right within my own little circle of blogs – I think I’m in the right place 🙂 I chose to donate my miles to Keep America Beautiful.

a-hunting we will go

Diana at Dowling 1I’ve been looking for permanent employment for some time now. My friend Lisa suggested that I clear my home office of every last remaining shred of evidence that I had worked at Too Big To Fail (TBTF). In clearing the office, we reckoned, space would be made for new work to move in. Lisa also recommended smudging.

Last week, I finally made it happen. I consulted the calendar and and determined that Friday the 20th of July was the New Moon. I installed Skype on my laptop; Lisa is in NY but I am in FL, so we’d have to do a cyber ceremony. All shreds of TBTF were packed into a Rubbermaid bin, which was moved out to the hallway. The desk was cleared, the white board wiped, and paperwork properly filed and/or shredded. I mounted my Florida Master Naturalist certificates on the wall (my walls indicate that I am entirely over-educated), and cleared out some clutter. The room was ready.

Of course, since Mercury is in retrograde in my sign (Leo) at the moment, this exercise was not without its petty annoyances. A picture fell off the wall, and the glass shattered, necessitating a gloved cleanup and thorough vacuuming of the carpet. Despite said thorough vacuuming, days later I approached the room and saw two errant shards gleaming on the Berber in the afternoon light. More vacuuming ensued. Then, Windows did a Patch Tuesday update which I believe rendered Skype unusable. I am sure there were a few other minor annoyances along the way that I’m not remembering; it’s actually a good sign that I don’t remember. The annoyance itself is not as important as how you react to it.

On the north wallI had purchased a brand new smudge stick and abalone shell at Whole Foods last time I was there. I broke out the witch box and took out a brand new white candle that I could dedicate to this purpose. I also fished out a velvet bag full of runes, a clay prayer bowl, and my box of wooden matchsticks with the lady bard on the cover. We do not use a lighter to make fire, ever; we do it the old fashioned way, with wooden matches. I thought briefly that this might be something from TBTF, since the matches were obtained many years ago at “Conference Room M”, a bar and grill around the corner and down the street from TBTF headquarters in Manhattan. However, the whole reason I’d kept the box of matches was because they had the lady bard on the cover, and they’d been consecrated to my cause long ago, so I let it be.

At the appointed time, I began to prepare the feast, which consisted of fruit, grains, cheese, and nuts. Lisa called, and we chatted while I got everything ready. I love a cordless phone and a plug-in headset for this very reason. Instead of Skyping, I took pictures with my cell phone and sent them to her while we talked. Using the “Conference Room M” matches with the lady bard on the cover, I lit the altar candle and placed it on the desk, which is conveniently located on the north wall, and then held the sage to the candle until it began to smolder. I smudged the room, even venturing into the hallway to smudge the Rubbermaid bin. Our mantra has been, “Income! Income! Income!” ever since I figured out that praying for a job isn’t really praying for what we want; we don’t necessarily want mundane work, but we do want the cash LOL 😉 I wrote my desires on special Walt Disney World paper decorated with purple pixie dust (purloined, I’m afraid, from Disney’s Yacht and Beach Club) and burned them in the prayer bowl (note to self: don’t forget to scatter the ashes). I then simultaneously feasted and drew runes, first three for Lisa and then three for me.

Lisa’s rune cast was very much in keeping with the hurry-up-and-wait aspect of a Mercury retrograde. Mine, hooray, was VERY positive.

Rune cast

Joy (Wunjo) – “The shift that was due has arrived, the Wheel of Karma has turned in your favor, and you are about to come to yourself in some way. Be happy!”. Indicates success with whatever the other runes in the cast represent. Might indicate the object of one’s affections romantically, or else love of one’s work. I guess you could say that, after 40 years in the desert, the shift is about the hit the fan!

Harvest (Jera) – “a reaping of rewards for efforts expended”. Maybe karmic in nature. Related to justice and legalities. Since a harvest can only happen after an expenditure of time and effort, there is an implication of delay coming first, and THEN the reward.

Journey (Raidho) – this rune is identified with the wagon; “it is a prime indicator of travel or movement”. The journey is usually related to pleasure, “a safe or pleasant journey, usually without mishaps and often with convivial traveling companions”. Sometimes a journey of the soul; keep on the path if you are already on it. Negotiation, logic, strategy, buying and selling, unexpected news, perhaps by phone.

Perhaps I will finally find employment, work that I LOVE. Maybe I will physically move in connection with this discovery of dharma, or maybe I will be moved into a different frame of mind, or the next step in my personal evolution. “Strategy” comes up in various forms in the current incarnation of my resume. I have skills in strategic business planning, and also as a social media strategist.

Lisa speculated that by the next New Moon, something should have happened for me in the area of “Income! Income! Income!”. After our call ended, I used a tide chart site that I’m fond of to look up the moon phases.

New Moon August 17th 2012

The next New Moon will fall on my birthday –
Friday August 17th.

Moon MagickNaturally, I was delighted, but I was also reminded of my 50th birthday, two years ago. Knowing that the layoff date was rapidly approaching, I had a job interview that day for a prestigious position. All the signs seemed positive, and all the people with whom I spoke that day were eager to get me aboard, but the job never materialized. And here I am, 40 years in the desert later…

As I was preparing to leave the office, I glanced at my bookshelves and saw a book about moon rituals, into which I had not yet delved. I looked up August 17th. It’s the feast of Diana in Rome.

That caught my attention. I decided to google “when is the feast of Diana in Rome”, just to be sure that the book wasn’t assigning some arbitrary goddess to some arbitrary date. Nope, there it was, in my search results.

When is the feast of Diana In Rome?

I knew the first hit to be erroneous for 2012, because August 17th is not the Full Moon this year. So I skipped to the second hit, and found this:

Diana of Ephesus

I got a jolt, and then I was delighted. A few years ago, I was playing an online game called CyberCitizens. A side group from the game decided to form an ongoing role-playing forum. This picture you see here, from the second hit on my google search, is the avatar I’d used on that forum. I didn’t know it was supposed to be Diana; I had just googled “moon goddess” and this was the image I liked best.

Are we getting spooked yet?

I started to think about it, and realized that I have a history with Diana:

Diana is sometimes known as “Artemis”. For a while, I was inclined to use variations of that name as a password, many years ago.

“Diana, Mistress of the Hunt” is a character in Disney’s Fantasia, and if you’re so inclined, you can read about the day I acquired a statue of her in the Art of Disney store. Here she is in the SpectroMagic parade at Magic Kingdom:


Diana is associated with the hunt, and with dogs. I have been hunting for a job, but I haven’t really been willing to settle on only making money. I wanted to leverage this opportunity to make money doing meaningful work, work that I love. I have also been boring my friends with indecision about getting a dog. I want to get a dog, wait I dunno if I really want a dog, what kind of dog should I get? I love your dog! What kind of dog is that? I did this with the blue suede damnsofa too – aggravated everyone while mulling it over for a couple of years, until one of them became agitated enough to exclaim, “oh just buy the damnsofa already!”.

Diana at Dowling 2I am surprised that no one has admonished me to “just get the damndog already!”. Of course, the types of dogs that attract me are herding dogs like the border collie and the German shepherd – or hunting dogs, like the Brittany spaniel, foxhounds, or Jack Russel terriers. Most of these would send tumbleweeds of dog fur blowing across my tiled floors on a daily basis, one of the many things that gives me pause about getting a dog.

Diana was featured prominently in a magnificent sculpture at the college where I earned my degree in psychology. Before I graduated, I spent an afternoon roaming and photographing the beautiful campus, including the sculpture.There is something otherworldly about a slightly-bigger-than-life hunter-goddess emerging from the wall.

And for good measure – I recently finished reading two novels featuring a character named Diana, who is a somewhat reluctant witch, and who seems to be associated with the goddess. Here I am while reading it – and lucky you, a glimpse of the blue suede damnsofa 😉


So, what have we got here?


It took its sweet-ass time, but it’s FINALLY coming.


And I want it noted that I received and interpreted an epic, multi-faceted memo entirely without the assistance of my usual prompt =8^0